headache....

this few days i keep on receive comments from my frens about my study now... they don't think i suit studying science... i asked y... they told me because i don't have the 'look'.. i was like.. wth... i really want to ask.. only nerdy ppl suit studying science?? even my mom... she called and ask me to think wisely... i know i'm not that good... that's y... since high school... i always a loser... everyone look down on me... if anything they don't understand... even i'm sitting beside them... they didn't even bother to ask me... Am i really that bad?? i admit i'm lazy.. and i'm not smart... but this time.. i really hope i can finish this A-level programme...and i will try to turn over a new leaf.. try to be as nerdy as possible.. haiz... i hope i can graduate with nice grade... and continue my study.. other than science..i don't know wat to study.. my heart juz torn into pieces whenever they talked about the subjects i'm taking... it makes me feel that i'm useless.. i'm not that good.. i only will waste my mom money... haiz...