L.O.V.E.

love love love.. what's love?? once there was a guy scolded me.. he said i'm still a little kid.. i still don't know what's love.. i'm still fooling around.. playing around.. like a kid.. he told me 'i love you' these three words are strong words.. we don't use it just like that.. it means a lot.. when i think back my past relationship.. i realized.. he was right.. i used that three words lk almost every minute to some1 who i thought i really love them.. apparently i misused the words.. it takes a long time before you use the three words.. 1st u gotta meet this person.. then u have to know his background and his personality.. see whether u guys can click or not.. do u feel happy with that person?? u cannot judge a person by their look.. their skin tone.. their body shape.. if u did that.. i'm sure you will never find true love.. there's a lot of players outside.. good looking.. rich.. driving a nice car.. these are the things that a girl like.. in the end.. what they get?? they lose their body (some virginity) n they get their heart broken.. then they start crying n feel regret.. some even lose their dignity too by begging those jerks to be with them again.. stupid girls.. virginity is a very important thing.. it means something.. i know u will think i'm soooo close minded.. but i seriously do think that u shouldn't lose it to any1 but to the person u really love... whenever u wanna use the three words think 1st: are you going to marry this person?? u sure you will love this person forever?? a lot of girls thought 'oh i care about him.. he cares about me too.. i give up a lot of things for him.. i'm sure he won't leave me..' hahaha!! apparently they don't know anything about love or guys.. love is not just about caring each other or how much u give up.. it's about the feelings there.. can u guys click when u guys are talking?? do u guys feel happy whenever u guys are together?? no matter what your partner do it will make u feel happy.. before u wanna start a relationship.. always ask yourself.. what attract u the most?? are you really sure u want this?? don't get into a relationship in a rush.. what's the point u get into a relationship in a rush.. in the end u guys break up.. hurting each others.. then start crying n hating each other.. fighting.. hmm.. we should think twice before getting into a relationship.. don't be naive.. boys are not as easy as u think.. girls too.. some they look innocent.. but they're dangerous.. hahha!! so just becareful.. there's a lot of players out there.. hope everyone won't get their heart broken so often.. haha!! tomorrow school starting.. need to hit my bed now.. it's 2.32am.. haha!! night.. sweet dreamz guys!!

firework

today i did the mcq test for hystology.. i couldn't get full marks.. it just a simple test.. and i can't get full marks.. this time i really feel like i'm very stupid.. y i can't score a simple test?? i feel like i need more luck.. no matter how hard i try.. it just not there.. i don't know why.. is this how i'm going to live for the rest of my life.. everyday.. every exam.. depends on luck... without luck i'm nothing?? i always listen to katy perry-firework.. try to boost up my confident.. but it's not helping anymore.. i really feel like i'm stupid.. other ppl can go out n party.. i can't.. ppl always ask y i so hardworking.. they always thought i scare to lose.. actually i'm not.. i try so hard only can get the same level as u guys.. if i still follow u guys to party.. what kind of result i will get?? it's gonna be worst.. my parents never ask me to get full marks.. but.. i still wish to do the best.. today when i sat in front of the computer answering the questions.. i was soo nervous.. n i forgot some of the answer.. the book was just in front of me.. i wish i could open it.. but i didn't... because i know by cheating i won't go far.. so i trust myself.. n be honest.. but i let myself down... really sad.. n depressed.. i wish i can be a smarter person like my other frens.. just a simple mcq test.. hate myself...

loneliness know me by name...

Since Dazzwaizie left me behind... my life is different.. i don't have a lab partner.. i don't have a partner in fizikatura class.. i always partner with a random guy... i really miss him!! nobody accompany me to answer anatomy.. do u know how hard it is to answer alone.. even our cooking group... all totally different.. different way of cooking.. new partner.. devton... our food timetable is a mess... really miss u... i can't gossip anymore.. really miss our gossiping time... last time when i'm bored i'll go to your room n chill.. now.. just stayed in my own room.. i remembered last time both of us in the study room.. studying anatomy.. we talked n laugh... the very 1st chapter of anatomy.. hahaha!! that was fun... haiz... wish u could stay here accompany me... shopping.. eating.. do a lot of things together.. here's the pics that i didn't upload on facebook..

a random question...

yeah.. it's been a month i studied in russia.. medic.. i know u guys must be surprised.. expected.. cause i know u guys still look down on me.. a small boy with a big dream.. just now i was taking my bath.. a sudden question pop up in my head.. am i even qualified to study medic?? ppl always think that i'm a playful person... like to sleep.. lazy.. but when i'm serious.. do u guys know??? when they told me this kind of stuff.. i just admit it n laugh along.. cause i don't feel lk explaining.. my results are not good.. so of course they won't believe me.. i don't want to embarrass myself.. feel stress in the class.. (*a lot of things happened in the class.. don't wish to mention it here.. don't wish to hurt their feelings.. even though is true.. but.. NAH.. keeping it to myself..) i don't think i can fit into the class.. even my mom feel embarrass to tell other ppl that i'm studying medic too.. she's not proud of it.. am i really that bad?? that lousy n useless?? sometimes i really want to cry.. i really hope someone can feel the way i feel.. i really hope someone can understand me.. help me.. i really don't know what to do.. all the stress.. all the negative comments.. without my parents support.. i feel that i'm alone in this world.. friends?? they only call me when they want to hang out.. sometimes i really know how to do that question.. i understand the question.. but none of them believe me.. cause i'm not the smart one obviously.. so.. most of the time when they ask me question.. i prefer to say i don't know.. don't wish to teach them the wrong things n don't wish to hurt my own feeling.. living in a world.. full of kiasu ppl in the class.. full of selfish ppl.. i have no idea how i can make it.. i only can pray hard.. pray that i can make it through 6 years here.. hope everything will be fine..

stress or not??

left three more weeks.. AS coming... I suppose to be stress... but i'm not.. i still online and enjoying my time... wth?? and updating my blog.. is been a long while i didn't update my blog... k.. nothing much to write.. bye..

headache....

this few days i keep on receive comments from my frens about my study now... they don't think i suit studying science... i asked y... they told me because i don't have the 'look'.. i was like.. wth... i really want to ask.. only nerdy ppl suit studying science?? even my mom... she called and ask me to think wisely... i know i'm not that good... that's y... since high school... i always a loser... everyone look down on me... if anything they don't understand... even i'm sitting beside them... they didn't even bother to ask me... Am i really that bad?? i admit i'm lazy.. and i'm not smart... but this time.. i really hope i can finish this A-level programme...and i will try to turn over a new leaf.. try to be as nerdy as possible.. haiz... i hope i can graduate with nice grade... and continue my study.. other than science..i don't know wat to study.. my heart juz torn into pieces whenever they talked about the subjects i'm taking... it makes me feel that i'm useless.. i'm not that good.. i only will waste my mom money... haiz...

Leona Lewis ft. One Republic-Lost Then Found

i really love this song... but i don't know how to put this song in my blog.. so u guys can listen to it.. if anyone know.. pls leave me a comment... help me.. lolx..here's the lyrics for this song

Staring at tears on the pages
Of letters that I never could write
Now I know love isn't painless,
But it's worth the risk,
It's worth the fight
Playing it over and over
I wish that I could turn back time, baby
We were wrong, but we could be right

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found
Lost then found, lost then found
Love ain't the enemy
We could be lost then found

Empty glasses on tables, echoes fill these rooms
The memories go where we go,
There like the suitcase that you never lose
If the good lords eyes upon me
I swear to make things right
Whatever we lost, I know we can find

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found

No words can come without
Can't stop the rain, I wish you could take it back
But it's too late, it's too late

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found
Lost then found, lost then found
Love ain't the enemy
We could be lost then found

No words can come without
Can't stop the rain, (Lost then found)
I wish you could take it back (Lost then found)
But it's too late, it's too late

We could be lost then found...