a random question...

yeah.. it's been a month i studied in russia.. medic.. i know u guys must be surprised.. expected.. cause i know u guys still look down on me.. a small boy with a big dream.. just now i was taking my bath.. a sudden question pop up in my head.. am i even qualified to study medic?? ppl always think that i'm a playful person... like to sleep.. lazy.. but when i'm serious.. do u guys know??? when they told me this kind of stuff.. i just admit it n laugh along.. cause i don't feel lk explaining.. my results are not good.. so of course they won't believe me.. i don't want to embarrass myself.. feel stress in the class.. (*a lot of things happened in the class.. don't wish to mention it here.. don't wish to hurt their feelings.. even though is true.. but.. NAH.. keeping it to myself..) i don't think i can fit into the class.. even my mom feel embarrass to tell other ppl that i'm studying medic too.. she's not proud of it.. am i really that bad?? that lousy n useless?? sometimes i really want to cry.. i really hope someone can feel the way i feel.. i really hope someone can understand me.. help me.. i really don't know what to do.. all the stress.. all the negative comments.. without my parents support.. i feel that i'm alone in this world.. friends?? they only call me when they want to hang out.. sometimes i really know how to do that question.. i understand the question.. but none of them believe me.. cause i'm not the smart one obviously.. so.. most of the time when they ask me question.. i prefer to say i don't know.. don't wish to teach them the wrong things n don't wish to hurt my own feeling.. living in a world.. full of kiasu ppl in the class.. full of selfish ppl.. i have no idea how i can make it.. i only can pray hard.. pray that i can make it through 6 years here.. hope everything will be fine..

stress or not??

left three more weeks.. AS coming... I suppose to be stress... but i'm not.. i still online and enjoying my time... wth?? and updating my blog.. is been a long while i didn't update my blog... k.. nothing much to write.. bye..

headache....

this few days i keep on receive comments from my frens about my study now... they don't think i suit studying science... i asked y... they told me because i don't have the 'look'.. i was like.. wth... i really want to ask.. only nerdy ppl suit studying science?? even my mom... she called and ask me to think wisely... i know i'm not that good... that's y... since high school... i always a loser... everyone look down on me... if anything they don't understand... even i'm sitting beside them... they didn't even bother to ask me... Am i really that bad?? i admit i'm lazy.. and i'm not smart... but this time.. i really hope i can finish this A-level programme...and i will try to turn over a new leaf.. try to be as nerdy as possible.. haiz... i hope i can graduate with nice grade... and continue my study.. other than science..i don't know wat to study.. my heart juz torn into pieces whenever they talked about the subjects i'm taking... it makes me feel that i'm useless.. i'm not that good.. i only will waste my mom money... haiz...

Leona Lewis ft. One Republic-Lost Then Found

i really love this song... but i don't know how to put this song in my blog.. so u guys can listen to it.. if anyone know.. pls leave me a comment... help me.. lolx..here's the lyrics for this song

Staring at tears on the pages
Of letters that I never could write
Now I know love isn't painless,
But it's worth the risk,
It's worth the fight
Playing it over and over
I wish that I could turn back time, baby
We were wrong, but we could be right

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found
Lost then found, lost then found
Love ain't the enemy
We could be lost then found

Empty glasses on tables, echoes fill these rooms
The memories go where we go,
There like the suitcase that you never lose
If the good lords eyes upon me
I swear to make things right
Whatever we lost, I know we can find

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found

No words can come without
Can't stop the rain, I wish you could take it back
But it's too late, it's too late

Why do we say things we can't take back
Why do we miss what we never had
Both of us fell to the ground
The love was so lost, it couldn't be found
Why do you tend to forget whose vain
I'm tired of crying out at the sound of your name
Why don't we turn this around, love ain't the enemy
Don't you want to be lost then found
Lost then found, lost then found
Love ain't the enemy
We could be lost then found

No words can come without
Can't stop the rain, (Lost then found)
I wish you could take it back (Lost then found)
But it's too late, it's too late

We could be lost then found...